i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize