If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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