Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
