Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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