Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
