i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i dont even know how to be here
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
