possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
