Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
