I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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