I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
