So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
