did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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