why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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