How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
