Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
