so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
