just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
