i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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