I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
