yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
