I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
