Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
