Nicole vs. Life
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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