please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
