we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
