He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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