she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
