Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
