so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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