i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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