Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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