Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
