How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
