So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
