i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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