Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
