I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
