why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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