sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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