I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
These tits shall not be calmed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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