I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
