the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
