East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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