I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
