so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
