My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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