New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
