why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
