those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize