how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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