4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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