We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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