Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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