I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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