it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
