I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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