So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
