U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
