Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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