true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
