How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
sex in a hospital.. check
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
