He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
