if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
